Mortal Showers Bring Eternal Flowers

Grocery Lists and Hearts


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So this past Tuesday we went and hung out with some of our favorite St Jude supporters, the Tri Delta ladies. These girls are so dedicated and hardworking! They have raised millions for St. Jude. The chapter we visited was the UGA Alpha Rho. We spoke to them about St. Jude and our experiences and shared our gratitude. Afterwards they absolutely swarmed us with love! We got a lot of fantastic Tri Delta tshirts, a tour of the sorority house and a lot of hugs. Seriously, some of our favorite people. As we spoke with them and got to know them, they shared with us some of the struggles they had in their own lives. There is a powerful truth that all humans carry within them a story all their own. They never fail to amaze me. We grabbed a picture with a few of them before we left!


Tri Delta Tshirts!!

Tri Delta Tshirts!!



The next day we had the chance to be interviewed for a radio show that will be aired later. They were so nice and we are so grateful they gave us the chance to share our story.

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Yeah it actually snowed… cool, right? Even if it only lasted like two hours and melted before it even hit the ground.

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Yeah we actually just ate a lot of food that day.

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We like Chelsea. We tried to be serious for the picture but that only lasted like two seconds….IMG_3605 IMG_3602

and the best news…. CLEAR SCANS

We went to St. Jude in January. Scott’s scans came back clear, no changes.

And with that, let’s get a little more serious. If you don’t like serious, feel free to skip.


There is usually a lot of time to think when you’re in a hospital.  A lot of hours sitting in lobbies and waiting rooms waiting for scan results. There were so many faces I didn’t recognize.

So sitting in the lobby studying all these faces I’d never seen and life stories I had yet to hear. and I opened my notebook and I wrote whatever came to mind.

This is the place where you bear willingly the burden of complete strangers. You’ve never shared a word with each other, but you love them without question. Because you have hurt, and they have hurt. And together we heal.

I was startled when a voice interrupted my thoughts.

“What are you writing?”

It was a little girl. I didn’t know her at all. She had hair, so she was either just beginning treatment or coming back after treatment like we were. She wore an eye patch over one eye but the other was a dark brown and very bright.

“I’m writing down things I want to remember later.” I remember resisting the urge to snap the notebook closed, but by the way she looked at the words I could tell she couldn’t read them.

“Like a grocery list.” She had replied, looking back at me.

Grocery lists. Poetic nonsense. It’s all the same, I guess. It’s all just words.

As I stared into that one bright eye the only thing I could think to say was “Yes. Like a grocery list.” and then she was gone. Run off to play with someone far more interesting than me.

So, I guess we shall make a list of all the things I want to remember. Please enjoy this grocery list of the things I’ve learned in the past few months:

  1. Be kind, there are wounds on every heart.

We mentioned earlier that there are stories within every person. That can get a little tricky sometimes. Because sometimes those stories are bitter ones. So many people are hurting. I’ve come to realize that it often makes them act in ways that seem rude or unkind, when really they are starving so desperately for the very thing they cannot bring themselves to give. Kindness.

There are wounds on every heart. Some are dangerously hurting. Pain you can see in them and hear in their voices. But some are silent. Some are like blisters on their heart, rubbing problems or mistakes they’ve made that will not leave them be. Some hearts seem a little bruised, a tender ache. I’ve found that almost every heart carries a bruise of some sort. Some hearts are broken. Cracked a little. Scarred a little. There are hearts of every condition. Sometimes even a heart so swollen in gratitude can hurt a little.

  1. Have hope, all wounds can be healed.

Physically when we are wounded we feel pain. This informs us that something is wrong that needs to be attended to. It is not so different with our hearts. Although it is important to remember that numbing is not healing. The world can offer things that can numb the pain we feel emotionally. Usually in the form of distraction. But distraction cannot fix what is hurting. That is the Saviors place. In the Book of Mormon, Jacob 2:8 it says

” 8 And it supposeth me that they have come up hither to hear the pleasing word of God, yea, the word which healeth the wounded soul.”


Please realize I wouldn’t be telling you this if I didn’t know it was true.


I have learned so many more things, but those can be saved for a later post. I have one more thing I want to talk about.

This past trip to St. Jude I got to see one of our best friends, she is an osteosarcoma fighter and so strong. I went to the apartment she was staying at and we did what most teenage girls do when they hang out. We ate a lot of food and we did a lot of talking.

It was late, and the conversation turned somehow to all those cancer fighters we’d loved and lost. The ones had left footprints across our hearts. The kind of footprints that ache when the person isn’t there anymore.

“I would get a tattoo of all their names,” she said. “But there are so many. My whole body would be covered.”

But those names deserve to be kept. Remembered. Always. Maybe not as ink across skin. But as I looked at her, I could see those names. The names of so many people that had gone before her and those who would go after. They were written across the way she laughed and breathed. They were woven into her voice when she spoke. Every moment of life she lived was stamped with the names of those she had loved and those she had lost.

When a person is gone, suddenly the things they left behind are priceless. The text messages I can’t bring myself to delete off my phone because they’re from you. Last moments are replayed a thousand times.

We recently lost two of our great friends Hannah and Markell. They were truly inspirational. I wish I could sit down across from you and tell you all about them because I have no doubt that you would fall in love with them and their stories as much as we did. They have changed us. and they will continue to do so, even though they are no longer here with us. I can promise that this life is not the end, there is more. There are great things to come. There are reunions. My last words to Markell were “See ya later” as I waved at him over my shoulder with one last glance.

See ya later.

I believe I will.

———————————————— Part of Markell’s story…..

We also found this huge picture of Hannah only a few days after we learned of her death. Little tender mercies.


3 thoughts on “Grocery Lists and Hearts

  1. Kim

    Beautifully written So sorry to hear about Hannah and Markell. I remembered them immediately when you spoke of them from your last posts. We are all grateful that they suffer no more and have gone to meet the father where they will be whole again.
    Love you all ❤️

  2. Grandma Bray

    You have an amazing way with words. The experience at St Jude has touched your whole family. Thanks for sharing your family’s journey. I am so sorry about your 2 friends. Love you, Grandma

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